I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
