i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
