I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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