I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
