hotel room ftw
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
