Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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