i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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