they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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