i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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