dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
