She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
