i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
