Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
