so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
did i just pee glitter
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
