NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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