I wish I could punch you in the face.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
