Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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