just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
