Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Come on in and take your pants off
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