I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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