Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
