absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
