That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
