Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
