I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
