Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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