So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
