shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
