the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
