If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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