from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
