I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
