what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
