Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
