Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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