ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
