Nicole vs. Life
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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