i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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