And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
