I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
