she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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