I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
