I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
