the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
