"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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