well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
