well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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