Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
