Got a toothbrush?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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