my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
