he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just cropdusted the office
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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